Anger or forgiveness? Both?
Today I watched Episode 18, Breaking the Lease. It aired on February 11, 1952.
In this one, Lucy, Ricky, Ethel, and Fred all get mad at each other over noise late into the night. Ricky and Lucy get angry and say they are going to move, but Ethel reminds them that they still have five months left on their lease—and she’ll need a check before she lets them out of it.
Ricky and Lucy devise a plan to break the lease with a series of crazy antics. They end up getting Ethel and Fred to let them out of it, but by the end, everyone has a change of heart.
It made me wonder: Have I ever been so mad at someone and then had a change of heart?
Yes. Yes, I have.
I’m usually pretty resolute in my decisions, but I recently let someone back into my life after many years of not having a relationship. There had been a falling-out, and it hurt—a lot. I couldn’t see a path forward, so we both went no contact.
Was that the best decision? I’m not sure. We were both angry, so I don’t know how much talking would have helped at the time. But the years passed—more than seven, I think.
And then life happened.
My father died recently, and it got me thinking about what I want to carry with me and what I want to leave behind. I wanted to let go of the past and forgive. The anger had subsided, life events brought us back together, and we finally talked.
I’m not sure one conversation fixes everything. But I do think a willingness to move forward—and to remain open to what might be possible—can begin to change things.
I don’t need to know exactly where this relationship will go. I just need to keep taking small steps and notice which part of the path lights up next. I’m okay with that.
I’m glad this person is back in my life, and I’m taking it one day at a time. All I know is that I’ve let go of my anger, and I’ve forgiven. Not for the other person, but for my own peace and so I can move forward.
Maybe anger and forgiveness aren’t opposites.
Both can be true.
Who knew?
